Waiting by the Mailbox

By now, I am sure that you have guessed the job interview did not go well. And it had so much potential.

The interview was with a major retailer. Not my first choice, but a job's a job. Plus, I was thrilled that they called me in knowing that I was asking for at least $9/hr (very reasonable considering my retail experience.) I meet with the first interviewers. All is going very well and schmoozy. I find out that the position is for cashier. I wasn't thrilled, but oh well. I move on to the interview with the store manager. Here too, I'm killing. Then the guy asks me if I don't think I might be a overqualified for the position. With a master's degree and over 3 years of retail experience, I am neither capable or willing to deny it.

"I'd rather be overqualified than underqualified." The reason, he explained for bringing it up, was that I had asked for over $2/hr more than they were willing to offer. He wanted to know if I would be willing to work for the lower sum. I was honest.

"I don't know. I would have to check my finances and see if it would be feasible for me."

There was lots of minor debate, namely on whether to continue the interview. He did not want to waste either or our time. I wasn't going to pretty that I was happy with that kind of wage, and he wasn't going to offer more. I told him that I would think about it over the weekend and would call in Monday if I wanted to go through with the interview process.

I went home and did some math. My unemployment would be margainally less if I decided to file (thank goodness I was eligible to file.) There was the added bonus of not selling out to a completely crappy job that would have scheduled me lots of crazy hours. The wage killed me because a) on the application, I told them the minimum that I would accept was $9/hr, hence they wasted my time simply by calling me in for an interview, b) the guy had the nerve to tell me to think about the long term, how long would it take me to get to a wage I could live on?, and c) I didn't so much feel overqualified on the matter of education (even though I am), what pissed me off is that I have not only 3+ years of retail experience, but I had increasingly greater responsibility over that time. That alone should have helped on the payscale.

So, I bucked up and filed for unemployment. I held off as long as I could. I called my last job and talked to a co-worker for support. Despite my significantly less office experience, she encouraged me to pursue office jobs and offered to provide references (again.) I also found a job listing for my alma mater for grad studies. Academic advisor, which falls in nicely with my graduate degree. I'm going back to visit my former advisor Tuesday to get her advise (and reference letter) for applying for the job. Has to beat the most depressing job I would have ever had.

Waiting by the Phone

One of the things that I hate about jobhunting is waiting to hear a response to an application or resume. Okay, it doesn't phase me that much. Preparing for interviews proves far more nerve wracking. Today, I'm getting over it because I got a call this afternoon for a job interview tomorrow morning. Woo hoo!! Wish me luck.

Take Me out to the Farm

Yesterday was quite the busy compared to the lives of empty unemployment that the boyfriend and I are currently living. We made the three hour round-trip drive to his grandmother's farm.

I always experience mixed emotions every time we make the trip to see his last surving grandparent, his paternal grandmother. I see a lot of parallels. Both of my grandfathers died before I was born. As a second grader, I met my maternal grandmother for the one and only time of my life. She died a year later. My paternal grandmother was the only grandparent with whom I had any relationship. It had its up and downs, much like my grandmother's moods.

The course of our relationship was set by an incident that I cannot even recall occurring when I was three years old. My parents had moved our family the year prior over 600 miles from our extended family. My mother had been diagnosed with cancer and required surgery. My father drove the 1200+ miles to bring his mother to take care of my brother and me. Legend has it that when she came in the door, I threw a fit, complaining that she wasn't my mom, and wouldn't have anything to do with her taking care of me. I stayed on a farm with friends of my father. My only memory of the whole ordeal was when my father came to pick me and bring me home. My grandmother's memory of the affair was not so forgiving. When we'd go to visit her every three or four years, she never conveyed much interest in her eldest granddaughter.

She passed away the summer before my sophomore year of college. Her declining health kept me from mourning her death. A series of small strokes had ravaged her mind to the point that she no longer recognized her own children. What shook me after her death was the realization that in the natural order of things, it would be my aunts, uncles, and parents next.

When I met my boyfriend, both of his grandfathers had long since passed away (though he did get to know them and is nice hearing stories about them.) When we moved back to this area last November, I met both of his grandmothers for the first time. I even went on to spend part of Thanksgiving with each of them. His maternal grandmother was not doing well though. We were woken up on New Year's Day with news of her passing earlier that morning.

I have now gone with the b/f to visit the other grandmother several times at her farm. In many ways, she treats me like a member of the family. She sent back gifts for me at Christmas (I sent her a thank you card back.) She hugs me goodbye. During yesterday's goodbye, she not only told the b/f, "I love you." She said it to me too (It took roughly 6 months of dating for her grandson to say that to me.)

Ah, yes, back to yesterday. The b/f had received word from one of his sisters on Sunday that one of the concrete back walls edging his grandmother's driveway had partially collapsed making the garage inaccessible. The following day, the b/f called his grandmother to make arrangements to go down Tuesday and clear out the debris. She even had him invite me to come down with him for a visit.

When we arrived, the three of us gathered around the kitchen table and spent the next hour catching up. Then the serious work began, the cooking. She had lunch (dinner or supper, I can't remember which one she used) planned. Meatballs and spaghetti, she had been craving them and hated to cook so much food for herself. Pumpkin pie that she made at 3 AM, having woken up to use the restroom and deciding to go ahead and make so it could cool. Salad. Rolls. Deviled eggs.

I love watching this woman cook. Like many women who having been cooking for years, she rarely measures. I personally love cooking without recipes, so I get a kick out watching her. It was made even better by her frequent statement, "I don't know if this is how you do it, but it's how I do it." This was never said out of criticism or meanness, but rather out of apology, making the woman even more precious.

The food turned out fabulous despite all of her modesty and apologies. My second favorite thing about the meal was the salad. I know Miracle Whip claims to be a salad dressing, but until that meal, I had never actually seen it used as a salad dressing. I'm convinced the woman can make anything out of Miracle Whip. I have not only seen the salad usage, but have also witnessed its appearance for cole slaw and deviled eggs. I have also tasted the turkey salad. Granted, none of the uses are original, but she never measures (which I consider particular amazing with deviled eggs.) The best part had to be the meatballs. Oh so tender without sacrificing on flavor. In a wonderful corollary to the meatballs was the sauce. As she was getting ready to open cans of tomato products, the b/f called me into the living room where he quietly forewarned me, "It's not really spaghetti sauce. It's a can of tomato soup and a can of tomato sauce." Sure enough, it was. Not my first choice of a sauce, it grew on me as tasting exactly like SpaghettiOs sauce. Granted, I have always preferred the sauces of Chef Boyardee for my canned pasta, but for sheer amusement, I adored this sauce.

Once assured that we had all had our fill, the meal was finished. The b/f headed outside to tear down and clear what remained of the wall. I helped the grandmother clean up as much as she would allow. We then headed out to see how the work was proceeding. I made my way down to help the b/f despite the g/m's protests that I shouldn't lift those heavy concrete blocks. I didn't think I should lift them either so I started to take care of the fragments of the broken blocks, still to her protest. I loved the woman even more for insisting that her grandson do all the manual labor. Despite such consideration, I knew I could handle to work and wanted to make myself useful for both their sakes. It was a good thing I helped speed up the progress because it started to drizzle. She tried to get me to go in, but I joked that since I wasn't a witch, I was pretty confident that I wouldn't melt. She chuckled, and I went back to work. The whole project took roughly ninety minutes to complete. God love that lady, she stayed out with us the entire time.

We eventually made our way back to the warmth of the kitchen table where we talked for a few more hours. I heard about how her husband, then her fiancc, surprised her upon his return as a POW of WWII. She showed us the matching mother-of-pearl necklace and bracelet that he had brought back from Rome for her. We heard about her travels to Wyoming to visit her sister. She directed so many stories about their extended family to me. There were also the stories that I heard on every visit and stories of things that had happened during previous visits. There were the newspaper clippings and letters that she brought out with each visit. These events brought back so many memories of my own grandmother doing the exact same thing, though during one visit, my grandmother showed my mom and me her toothbrush each morning of our stay.

Of course, walking through the farmhouse itself brings back memories of my own grandmother though I don't remember the farm which was sold when I was still young. The old crocheted knick-knacks in the living room. The packing away of anything that could be useful again someday in either the attic or the store room. The vegetables that were canned longer ago than I care to imagine.

In many ways, it's like getting to known my own grandmother again, but ultimately, spending time with makes me wish that I had the patience to appreciate and get to known my own grandmother and all of my grandparents.

"The List"

I was introduced to the concept of “the list” by a former co-worker. For the uninitiated, “the list” is a person’s list of 5 people they could have a one night stand without complaint from their own significant another. It’s a safe list that has no real chance of happening, just a nice what if.

I immediately devised my list. My boyfriend started one but was far less enthusiastic about the endeavor. Having already forgotten one of my list, I decided it might be best to preserve it. I had a few guidelines to help me. No crushes or infatuations. Try a little variety. 5 tall, dark, handsome, British actors is way too easy. Of course, I didn’t want to err on the other side and add a guy just because he was a certain type. The result is the following men, in order.

**UPDATE** January 23, 2005
I've been thinking about the list lately, or rather, I have been thinking about the guys on "the list." I finally have someone for #4 (look below for the dirt.) Also, Kenneth Branagh, formerly #5, is off "the list." His charms have not held up over the years for me, and I have the sinking suspicion that he is an egotistical jerk. Sadly, I hve come to recognize that the #5 spot will see plenty of rotation.

I have noticed a general theme in my choices. I'm a sucker for guys who sing ballads. Despite my adolescent devotion to hair metal bands, I have definitely fallen for the cheese. I was listening to a song that I love recently, thinking how it would be the perfect song for a couple, and I realized. my b/f and I won't have a song. I would want something mushy. He doesn't listen to mushy. He mocks me for mushy. He likes hard rock. He likes Disturbed, Ozzy Osbourne, Korn, Eminem, etc. Don't get me wrong. I like some of their stuff too. I never would have thought I'd like Rob Zombie. But none of these groups provide my ideal song, and I suspect the b/f would ridicule any potential song on a matter of principal.

So, yeah, if I could convince one these musicians to make one of their songs a song for me, I'd be so there.

***UPDATE*** February 17, 2008

In my post-Valentine's Day, newlywed status, I need to update the list. This one has me a bit torn up.

John Mayer. For years, the thought of him has made me go, mmmmmm. As much as I miss his ballads for the ladies, I do really like that he has grown as a musician and a songwriter. But the hair. OMG, it's laughable. Then I found out that he had dated Jessica Simpson, which really makes me question his intelligence and/or taste. So John's been replaced by someone older, and British.


Colin Firth

I first saw Colin in Valmont, but it wasn’t until he took on the role of Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice that I was hooked. I wasn’t the only one. I think most British and American women ages 25-35 who’ve seen this miniseries would agree. His status was solidified in one screen moment where he looks at his love interest. He looks so happy that he’s practically bursting along with a look of admiration and something a bit more smoldering. It wraps up as something entirely soulful. Tall, dark, and handsome with that great accent, he’s amazing. He’s such a force that in the Bridget Jones sequel, the author wrote of encounter between the heroine and the actual actor. He wins extra points for taking the role of Mark Darcy in the movie, making the currently filming sequel a must-see for me.

Hugh Laurie

It's speaks volumes about this actor's charm that the character of Dr. Gregory House is even remotely likable. Watch him in interviews and he's intelligent and self-mocking. Watch some of his British work, and he's hysterical. Hell, my husband loved his pre-game Super Bowl interview when Ryan Seacrest asked him who he thought would win and it was fairly obvious that he'd never been to an NFL game, knew nothing about the NFL, and could kill Ryan Seacrest for asking him anyway.

Ewan MacGregor

I was amazed with his breakthrough performance in Trainspotting. I adored him Brassed Off. I saw much more of him than I was prepared for in the arthouse film, The Pillow Book, and as a result I couldn’t see any of his films for awhile, I was so embarrassed. But my adoration returned with his amazing performance in Moulin Rouge. Much was made of Nicole Kidman’s singing in this film, but he’s the one who stood out for me. He’s got just so many wonderful vocal moments that get me every time. However, if he ever sings “Your Song” for me, I’m sunk, and I don’t even mind.

Josh Groban

Let's give a warm welcome to the newest member of the list. I must say, I never thought I'd be digging the younger men so much. Don't worry, this mid-twentysomething is legal. It's not so much the looks ( he's attractive, but his looks aren't his best feature.) His best feature is his voice. Josh has been honing that puppy for years, and it shows, errr sounds. This tenor is classically trained, and what could be more romantic than that voice in a romance language? It was his live performance on a tsunami aid fundraiser of his first hit, "To Where You Are" that sadly caused me to realize that the b/f and I will never have a song. Josh also gets bonus points for having the name Josh. For many years, I had the name Joshua picked for my future son (oddly, I got the idea from a character on a soap that I watched as a kid.) Some of the bonus points get deducted due to my view that the name Joshua should never be abridged for a nickname much in the same way as Pete is a type of moss while Peter is a strong name.

Rufus Wainwright

Rufus maintains the spot of #5 until I think of someone else because sadly (for me, most assuredly a good thing for him), Rufus is gay, making him the only true impossible on the list. No one likes to imagine what if when all one can imagine is an awkward moment in which Rufus says, "Thanks, but no thanks." Nonetheless, he is still a very dapper, very, very, very talented Canadian. No, not a Canadian comedian or actor, but a singer/songwriter/musician. Blessed with such amazing songwriting abilities that he proves that God does in fact bless homosexuals contrary to whatever Jerry Falwell might say.

Gas Supply

I've noticed the gas prices climbing again. I am not happy, but I think that I've discovered a new gas supply, Jack. That's right, my cat. I'm sitting on the bed doing some cross-stitching when I notice the most God-awful stench. I was convinced that the cat had poohed on the bedding during our absence. I begin digging through blankets and discovered Jack curled up over by the wall, peacefully passing gas in his sleep. I discovered that he can get pretty gassy.

To Interview or Not to Interview

I made the mistake of watching network tv Friday night. It started with Dateline and sadly deteriorated to a Barbara Walters special. I'd never been able to stomach an entire one before. I decided to give it a try when I realized the subjects of the interview were Pres. Bush and the Mrs. I generally can't stomach them either, but in the upcoming inauguration and a spirit of generosity and open-mindedness, I decided to give it a go.

I failed.

Oh, I sat through it and choked it down. I just wasn't the most open-minded about it. I got off to a bad start when Barbara asked the President for 3 words that described his views going into the second term or some crap like that. I want to ask Mr. Anal over at Crossfire if that question qualified as a softball and whether Barbara held Bush's feet to the fire to get him to answer the "serious" questions.

Sadly, this was not the low point of the special. That moment was "achieved" during a segue to a commercial. The scene was of the President calling to one of his dogs. Barbara's voiceover was to the effect, "But there are limits to the powers of the President." Oooh. Serious journalism. I'm glad she felt the need to point out one limitation, dog obedience, in reference to an administration that answers Freedom of Information Act requests for minutes to energy policy meetings with, "They are private meetings. We don't wanna share them and you can't make us."

So why did I continue to watch? Blog inspiration. I like to suffer for my art.

I found myself pondering the question style during commercial breaks. I began to recognize that I've had job interviews that were tougher. Then I began to really wish that Barbara Walters would interview me for a job. Questions this soft would be a dream. In her defense, she did ask Bush for his position on Roe v. Wade It's a tough question that I think most people know the answer to already. He didn't even answer it. Does this mean if I get a tough or one of the completely random questions that love to find there way into job interviews, and don't have give her an answer? Cool.

Then I realized that she would probably be a tough ass bitch when conducting a job interview. I got a mental picture that literally made me cringe. Not cool. Not even, "Yikes!" More like, "Yikes!!!!!"

So I have ultimately decided that I would not like to undergo a job interview with Barbara Walters because

1. She would be positively evil during the interview (and I suspect as an employer).
2. I would then have to watch stupid questions in horrible celebrity interviews.
3. I could never forget that segue to commercial.

Dateline...Friday Evening

I must say, it's been a busy day for not doing much. The b/f and I went back to our alma mater (bachelor's for him, master's for me) to get sage jobhunting advice for our former faculty. By the time we were done with his department, everyone in mine was gone. Oh well.

Drove back home and threw a pizza in the oven. Hmmmm. Papa Murphy's. Then sat down and watched Dateline on NBC. I have realized that Dateline is the devil. This is the show that gives my mom cause to call me and make sure I'm not dead. Dateline gives people something else to worry about. Though they did have a freaky story tonight about a rare genetic condition that causes a person to suffer such severe insomnia that they don't sleep until they die, which doesn't take long. Yikes!!! No more complaining about deep-thinking induced insomnia. Oh, who am I kidding?

One Day at a Time

Yeah, I soooo caved on the Long John Silver's. I won't be needing another fix for about a year. Otherwise, I have done well food wise. I'm even slowly easing myself off caffeine, again. The coffee maker that I received for Christmas won't help.

I'm also getting over myself on the jobhunt. I admit, I'm a lousy hunter of jobs. New goal: apply for at least one job a day until I get one. So far, applied for 3 jobs this week. Not a big woo hoo, but a woo hoo nonetheless.

The Flesh Is Weak

So far, I have done respectably on my New Year's resolution to lose weight. Five pounds down. Then the b/f suggested Long John Silver's for dinner and suddenly deep fried foods sound scrumptious. The fish. The chicken planks. Those fries. The crispy crunchy little bits of fried batter. Hush puppies dipped in malt vinegar. Sadly, nothing else sounds good enough for dinner.

Quiet Desperation

I've been thinking about the Thoreau quote, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation." (Okay, it's technically the mass of men, but most men works for me. I'd even included women.) With it being the new year and me being unemployed, I've been all Dead Poets Society philisophical. It's the cheesy English major in me.

As a mentioned, I've been thinking about this quote, every night as I fall asleep for the last week. And I wonder why I have insomnia. I've wondered what it is that's get people about this idea. Do we feel pity for people leading such lives? Compassion? Disgust? Or do we ultimately identify ourselves as one of them? Inevitably we are called to ponder our own lives.

But as it is night and my mind wonders, the question I find myself posing is, "Which is worse, leading a life of desperation or being quiet about it? I even used Google to find the paragraph (#9 to be specific) from which the quote came to see if the context would help. Frankly, I found it depressing, and at 2 AM, I am not energized enough to read all of Walden to find something reaffirming.

What to make though of the quiet business? There is something about the idea of quiet desperation that makes it seem worse. The whole idea of suffering in silence. The loneliness and isolation of silence make quiet desperation a pretty miserable situation. Then again, we all know people who do not suffer in silence and make everyone else miserable in the process. I say this as a Grade A whiner. I tend to think that a loud desperation lacks the dignity of quiet one.

But since when has desperation been about dignity?

And that's the kicker. Desperation is a different kind of animal. So I reread the paragraph and realize that the quote should extend a little longer. "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation." Resignation. In action, thought, and word. That's a whole different kind of silence. Suddenly, quiet desperation loses all dignity and becomes the greater evil.

Could This Be the Beginning of Something Special?

Have my fortunes turned for the better?

Sure, when I woke up, I discussed my headcold had moved into my chest. This is usually a precursor to bronchitis, never a good thing for the uninsured. Yet I am as giddy as a school girl.

First, I revised my resume and cover letter and applied for a job I had been looking at. Plus, I did it all electronically through monster.com, which is a first, so I am feeling happy and pro-active on the jobhunting front.

Second, I called the loan officer for my Perkins loans. Like many of you, my student loans are a source of some severe angst. To give you an idea of my relationship with my student loans, last night I went to bed happy with my blogging but worried about the call I knew I needed to place today. I had been expecting a payment to have been due around the 1st but had never gotten the bill. I began to worry about late fees and snarkiness when I called in. Oh, and since these are Perkins loans, they are co-signed by my parents and hence the ones I want to pay off first. I was on the verge of an anxiety attack and the stress did a number on my stomach. I spent some time in bathroom, before bed, during the night, and first thing in the morning.

I did not want to call in today. But I didn't want to put it off any longer so I placed the call. Low and behold, Perkins loans are quarterly payments, not monthly like I had thought. With all my deferrments (don't worry, the loan is almost paid off thanks to AmeriCorps vouchers), I had not made regular payments. Only two more to go. And the next one's not due until March. Woo hoo!

Aftershock

Roughly a week and a half ago, I joined the blog traffic exchange known as BlogExplosion. Ninety-seven percent of the people reading this are reading it because of BlogExplosion. For the other three percent, hears your chance to hear about it in a way that will hopefully not bore you as much as Garden State bored my boyfriend.

BlogExplosion is like blogger crack. The more member sites you visit, the more members are sent to your blog. It promises hits and, unlike BlogSnob, it delivers. (Oh the wasted months of stupid BlogSnob ads.) I've noticed several on the BE experience which prodded me to consider the BE influence.

1. 30 seconds. For the non-BE crowd, this is the amount of time a member must be at the site to receive credit for being there. I've heard it said, and I have to agree, sometimes it is the longest 30 seconds you've experienced online. But if the writing is less than ideal, there are always the design and links to check out. As a blogger, I find the 30 seconds to be good. Every entry needs to be good (or at least start good) because it may be the only chance you get.
2. I am a lazy member of the blogosphere. There, I said it. Happy? When I first started this blog, I was very into checking out other blogs, but once I started working again, it was enough to keep up on my own blog and my favorites. I stopped getting to know the neighbors. Now I check out other blogs (and am constantly reminded of my need to learn some code to move beyond the template.) Heck, I even post comments occasionally in recognition that blogging is about the sharing of ideas.
3. It affects the way you write, for better or for worse. Whether it's the 30 seconds or the knowledge that people other than friends and family are reading your blog, you can't help but be aware of others checking out your blog. For example, I have found out that I have a good Catholic teenager reading my blog (Hi James!) who I'm convinced doesn't realize I'm a lapsed Catholic liberal. I full expect him to drop me like the 3 lbs. I've lost this year (let's hear it for that resolution still in place). For his sake, I will swear less often. I have also discovered that almost no one in the Eastern time zone reads my blog, except for Eric in New Jersey who makes me feel young. I am deeply wounded by the lack of East Coast love for my own affection for the Atlantic coast goes unrequited. I have also discovered that there are Texas women who find me amusing. I encourage Molly Ivins to join their numbers.

So yes, I am a BlogExplosion brown noser. Be gentle.

Yes, I Do Really Like Tests

I came across this compliments of TW at Tightly Wound & Highly Strung.

My Bloginality is ISFP!!!

I think the actually name of the test is the Meyers-Brigg, I need to look it up. I've taken the official version. (This online version is pretty short and most likely not even as close to effective in its analysis.) I now feel the urge to dig up my previous test and see if this one matches up.

To Apply or Not to Apply

I was doing my regular monster.com jobsearching and I came across a position that would be a really good fit. I have a master's degree in the field involved but no experience. They are looking for someone with 2-5 years experience and an associate's degree (realistically, they need to look for someone with more education.) Two strikes against me are that I lack knowledge in a specific content area and bilingual is a plus that I don't have. It's a local job, but I'd be submitting my resume out of state.

What is really giving me pause is that I recently applied for a position for which I am really overqualified with the exact same company at the exact same location. I sent my resume to the local office. I am a bit concerned that I look like I'm not interested in either position by applying for both positions. Thoughts or suggestions?

Happy Birthday Dad!

That's right! My family celebrates two birthdays this week. Being unemployed, I feel bad that I cannot afford more than these shameless blog greetings to my parents. Nonetheless, greetings to the man with so much faith in his lapsed-Catholic, livin' in sin daughter to suggest that she get a job with Catholic charities.

Do us (and your cardiologist) proud and put down the Camels and go for a walk. Oh wait, that snow is going to be around for a while. Better use Mom's treadmill. Just want to make sure you're around next year for your 60th because I have to top the baby food I gave you for your 50th.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Yes, I forgot the card, but more importantly, I didn't forget the occasion. All that snow means you even got a day off from work.

Rocky Start

Just wanted to check in and say I won't be blogging much this week. Tomorrow I will be accompanying the b/f to a relative's funeral. Keep a good that for his grandmother and for those who will travel through the winter storm to get to the service.

In the meantime, I've posted a work in progress below to give you something to think about until I can get back.

100 Books

100 Books I Want to Read Before I Die (A Work in Progress)

I've gotten some great suggestions so far but haven't had a chance to add all the suggestions yest. Hopefully sharing what I have will help you come up with more suggestions.

1. The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien (own, have read about 5 pages)
2. The Two Towers, J.R.R. Tolkien (own)
3. The Return of the King, J.R.R. Tolkien (own)
4. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy (own)
5. Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis
6. Les Miserables, Victor Hugo (have Project Gutenberg e-text, app. 200 pages read)
7. Mansfield Park, Jane Austen (own, app. 30 pages read)
8. Vanity Fair, Thackeray
9. Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole
10. Nickel and Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich
11. Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie (own)
12. The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood
13. Ulysses, James Joyce
14. 1984, George Orwell
15. A People's History of the United States, Howard Zinn
16. The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde
17. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
18. The Bible, (of course I have the Catholic Study Bible)
19. An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith (3824)
20. Origin of Species, Darwin
21. The Color Purple
22. What's the Matter with Kansas?, Thomas Frank
23. How to Win Friends and Influence People, Carnegie
24. The Entire Lemony Snicket series (I know it's more than one book)
25. Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl
26. The Diary of a Young Girl, Anne Frank (unabridged edition)
27. I Know This Much Is True, Wally Lamb
28. Madame Bovary
29. In Cold Blood, Truman Capote

100 Things

1. I have freakishly small hands.
2. My favorite way to celebrate New Year's Eve is by watching Dead Poets' Society.
3. I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue.
4. In high school, my career goal was to have a job that would pay well enough that I could hire a maid.
5. I am sorry to say that my first concert was New Kids on the Block.
6. My favorite sounds are rain and thunder. Also, my favorite smell is rain.
7. I am left handed.
8. My favorite lines from a song are from John Cougar Mellencamp's "Minutes to Memories" off of the Scarecrow album. They are, "Through the hills of Kentucky 'cross the Ohio river/The old man kept talking 'bout his life and his times/He fell asleep with his head against the window/He said an honest man's pillow is his peace of mind."
9. I cry pathetically easily at movies. I even cried during Casper.
10. My favorite season is fall, though my favorite memories from growing up were staying up late reading on summer nights with the smell of the cool night breeze blowing in my bedroom window.
11. I am the first member of my immediate family to complete college. I am also the first to earn a master's degree.
12. I love to feed ducks, especially mallards. As for geese, I hate them.
13. My number one pet peeve is older men who think that because I am a younger female a) I don't have any views on the subject they are talking about or b) that I if do, I won't share them because my views are "obviously" not as "valid" as theirs. These men generally bring out my more assertive side.
14. The most rewarding work I've ever done is to tutor adults in preparation for the GED.
15. I voted in a presidential election for the first time in '96 by absentee ballot while studying abroad in London. Not surprisingly, I voted for Clinton.
16. I didn't bother to vote in 2000 because I thought that there was no way Bush would get elected.
17. Gay man that I wish was straight: toss up between Rufus Wainwright and Rupert Everett.
18. While of German and Polish heritage, I consider myself honorary Irish (Notre Dame).
19. I studied Latin in high school.
20. I've taken lessons in piano, flute, and guitar (though the guitar lessons lasted only 2 months and occured when I was so young that the guitar was almost as big as me.)
21. My favorite authors are Shakespeare, Jane Austen, and Mark Twain.
22. My favorite book is Middlemarch by George Eliot. It took me nine months to finish it, namely because I got so frustrated with it that I had to stop reading it for a few months. I describe the book as 900 pages on why a person should be certain to marry the correct person.
23. The first guy to kiss me came out of the closet a few years after said event.
24. A lapsed Catholic, I haven't attended mass on a regular basis in 4 years. I still think of myself as Catholic and fully expect to "rejoin the fold" someday. I am, however, tempted to call my old confirmation sponsor to taunt her with my lapsed status. I don't because I'm more mature than that.
25. I generally read from at least 3 different books during any given period.
26. The gift that I am most frequently given is a candle. I am a notorious candle junkie.
27. I am addicted to Food Network. I absolutely love cooking, especially without recipes and just winging it. This leads to tensions as the b/f is more of a Hamburger Helper guy.
28. The only craft that I am good at is counted cross stitch, and, well, I'm really good at it. Especially for being self-taught.
29. My computer's name is Jeeves. The one prior to that was Bertie.
30. The best feeling in the world is getting into a bed with fresh, clean sheets just after shaving my legs.
31. On road trips for which I am not driving, I generally fall asleep within ten minutes.
32. On flights, I've been known to fall asleep during the safety instructions, wake up for the drink cart, fall asleep afterwards, and wake up while the plane taxis to the terminal.
33. I have missed Christmas with my family only once. I was in Kentucky doing volunteer work.
34. I sleep with my toes pointed towards the foot of the bed. I began doing this when 4 or 5 years old. I was aftraid a burglar would break into my room, so I hid under the covers. I then realized that a burglar would still know I was there because my toes pointing up would give me away. I started sleeping with my toes pointed down and became used to it.
35. My first memory of being scared was when I thought I saw the clown doll from Poltergeist on a chair in my bedroom. I must have screamed my head off because my mom came in and told me it was just clothes and that I should keep my room clean.
36. Despite my complete nerd status in school, there was one time I was planning on throwing a party with the two most popular girls in my junior high class. My mom issued an ultimatum. Clean my room or give up the party. I gave up the party.
37. I never got to meet my grandfathers as both of them past away before I was born.
38. I was named after a cheerleader my mom knew in high school.
39. For many years, I had the name "Samantha Ann" picked out if I ever had a daughter. "Samantha" was the name of a kitten I had for 10 days.
40. I was the only person at my junior prom without a date. I had been turned down 5 times.
41. My first date was my senior prom. My date was an old friend who was a year older than me. I have not seen him since.
42. Even I had a stalker in college. His name was Glenn. We went on one date. He finally took the hint after asking me if he could write to me over the summer. I told him he could write but that I had a lot of other people that I'd be writing to and I couldn't guarantee that I'd reply.
43. In junior high, I got into a few political conversations with my state representative, a friend of my dad's. He encouraged me at the time to go into politics.
44. The one and only time that I gave blood, I fainted.
45. The first time that I was pulled over, I was let go before the officer let me go without even asking for my driver's license. He realized that he had pulled over the wrong vehicle. The second time I wasn't so lucky.
46. My brother wanted to buy me handgun for a college graduation gift. I politely, but firmly, declined.
47. If I ever get a tattoo, it will be a henna-colored Celtic cross on my right shoulder.
48. I had my ears pierced when I was 8. 8 years are about how long the holes have been closed.
49. I hate pastels and floral prints.
50. In high school, I missed out on the Catholic Church's World Youth Day in Colorado because I was part of a 6 week academic program. I consoled myself that I would go to a good college and see the pope in Rome someday. When I studied for a semester, I went to Rome. The pope was in France at the time.
51. My favorite childhood pet was named Bourbon.
52. My favorite books as a kid were the Encyclopedia Brown series, I later moved on to Nancy Drew.
53. My brother and I have agreed that if either one of us wins the lottery, we will buy the Catholic high school we went to from the church and then bulldoze it.
54. When I'm trying to stay awake while driving, I think of how I would spend a large Powerball lottery jackpot. When I'm stressed and can't sleep, I think about the same thing. I have a pretty elaborate plan of what I would do with such winnings now despite the fact that I rarely buy lottery tickets.
55. My favorite way to have waffles is with peanut butter and maple syrup.
56. The only celebrity I saw during a week visit to NYC was Valerie Harper. All of my friends then proceeded to make me feel old by not knowing who Valerie Harper was.
57. While typing the last entry, my boyfriend held a BudLight bottle to my mouth for me to drink (at the moment it's the afternoon of New Year's Eve.)
58. My mom once told me that she thought I would make a good nun.
59. Despite being left-handed, I play all sports right-handed.
60. I am notoriously lucky at getting good parking spots.
61. When I turned 21, the guys in the apartment below me had a pool on how early I would get smashed. The earliest bet was for before I even left for the bars. I only had 5 drinks and was probably one of the more sober people at the party.
62. I asked my b/f out first. We had been friends for awhile and I got tired of dropping hints.
63. Despite having flown several times, including 2 transatlantic flights, I have never used an airplane restroom.
64. I have been seasick only twice, both times on the same ferry ride over the Irish Sea.
65. If I could live anywhere, it would be either Boston or London though I really like the Midwest too.
66. I grew up a huge Minnesota Twins fan. After the 1995 strike, I haven't watched a single game.
67. I have never been to a professional sporting event.
68. While living in Southern California, I never went to Disneyland. I had the chance and I chose not to and have no interest in ever going.
69. For the most part, I have had the same hairstylist since the 6th grade. I have gone as long as 11 months without a haircut to wait until I was able to have her cut it.
70. I still have a baby tooth (and yes, it's still in my mouth.) I also was born without bottom wisdom teeth.
71. This list sounded like a much better idea to me when I was still in the 20s.
72. I love handling calls from telemarketers, the pushier the better. I'm never outright mean to them, I just make them feel stupid.
73. I am a major procrastinator.
74. If I could ever be a paid writer, I'd want to be a columnist. Originally, I wanted to be the female Dave Barry, but then I realized I'm not funny all the time. I also realized he's not funny all the time either. Realizing that I don't like being limited to a topic, I came up with Misc Karen which has yet to be fully realized.
75. I love my college buddy, Amy, because among other reasons, she laughs at all of my jokes.
76. I realized after the fact that I shouldn't have told friends & family about this blog. Yeah, I have to censor myself here. That's why I created another blog that is in no way affiliated with this one.
77. My current life's ambition is to be out of debt someday.
78. The morning of my first hangover, I went with friends to Perkins and order Sprite and toast.
79. I don't feel old until I hang around whiny kids in their early 20s. If they annoy me enough, I have to struggle with the urge to yell at them until they cry. Don't even get me started on their blogs.
80. I read Playboy for the articles.
81. The most embarrassing cd in my collection is the soundtrack to Xanadu.
82. I used to be a huge Def Leppard fan and had a major crush on Joe Elliott.
83. It's not that I'm not a morning person, it's that I'm a hostile morning person.
84. The most overused word in blog titles is "rant."
85. I wrote my senior thesis in 2 days and like almost all of my papers, wrote it and one draft and didn't proofread it. I got an A on it.
86. New York City is the most overall overrated place that I have visited.
87. Oh, baby, you better believe I'm moody.
88. I really want a digital camera.
89. I originally thought I would study either Victorian literature or Theology (emphasis on ethics of psychotropic drugs) in graduate school. Ultimately, I studied education.
90. Sushi. Yum.
91. I lettered in three different sports in high school. Now my knees are so bad that when I straigten my legs without any weight on them, I can still feel the grinding in my knees.
92. I'm one of those people who whines about secondhand smoke. I grew up around it (thanks Dad.) I quite frequently would get bronchitis and was later diagnosed with asthma. The better part of my respiratory problems became minimal once I left for college.
93. I cannot drink whiskey in any form.
94. The worst shot of liquor I've ever had was a buffalo sweat. The only thing that kept it down was the thought of tasting it again.
95. The devil is alive and well in the form of my brother's ex-wife.
96. I'm proud to say that I have never seen an episode of Survivor. Don't blame me for all that reality crap.
97. I frequently mistype my name as "Karne." Luckily, I usually catch it.
98. I spent two years in speech therapy. I would switch "f" and "th" sounds. Hence, father became thafer. When I'm nervous speaking, I still do it.
99. In junior high, I had a newspaper route I delivered with my bike. As a result, I had killer legs.
100. My ideal way to spend a day is curled up in a quilt by window, watching snow, reading a book, drinking hot chocolate, and listening to something girlie, like the soundtrack to Far and Away or George Winston's December.

Happy 2005!

If you are reading this as it's published, you either:
A. need a life.
B. live in a different time zone than me.

Ahhh, you know I only tease you because I like you.

Happy New Year!

Now gimme a kiss. (Just kidding)