Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Cake Server, the Newest Addition to the Wedding Party

One of my b/f's sisters is getting married in May. She has know the groom for less time than the b/f and I have been dating. Am I bitter? Maybe a little, but I really am happy for her.

Living over 2 hours from the happy couple and the impending nuptials means there hasn't been much for us to do to help. Usually, we just provide a place to stay when the bride is in the area working on wedding details with the other sister.

I have been asked to work the cake table. I am excited. I am finally in a wedding. And for a first time wedding, I am grateful to be serving in a position relegated to extended family. I'd be completely useless for anything else and this is nice and low pressure.

Or so I thought.

I had everything all planned. Since I'm still rebuilding my wardrobe, I was going to buy a nice pair of slacks and a dressier blouse/shirt that could be worn again for work. I could just blend in at the cake table. No one notices a fat girl at a cake table. It's like ducks on a lake. We are part of the scenery. I did think it was odd that she reminded me of the wedding colors (maroon and silver) when she asked me.

She stayed with us (actually me, the b/f was out-of-town on business) Sunday night. She asked me if I had found a dress for the wedding yet. (I'm not even thinking a dress. Skirt, maybe.) I share my plan, and she reminds to remember the colors so I won't "clash in the photos." To give you my honest reaction, I'm going to do something I avoid in this blog, but it's okay. Here is a brief summary of my immediate thoughts.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!!!!!!! We are going to be in wedding photos. We have to dress up to be in photos that are going to end up in the wedding album. Shit! Shit! Shit! I'm going to have to look really good. When the hell did the fucking cake server end up in the wedding party? Oh wait, it must be the b/f. I'm going to be in the big family photo because I've been the g/f for over 3 years. Shit, we have to get him a suit. No more stalling on his part. Argggghhh!"

I'm convinced that I kept a great poker face, but the moment she left to take care of wedding errands, I was on the phone to my mom and then the b/f in a panic. I started searching online for maroon clothing. 'Tis not the season for maroon. Go figure, it's all these light pretty colors for spring.

Bring on the second round of expletives.

I have made my peace. The current plan is for light/med gray slacks. I really cute dressy cami or shell covered with a dark red shawl/wrap/shrug. The cami and slacks will be easy, and if I can't find a shawl/wrap/shrug that I like, it will be easy enough to make one. Plus all can be worn again. It even meets the bride's approval. So Saturday, I rack up more charges on my Visa (it has been a harsh month with the recent purchase of new glasses). Oh crap, I need to get cute strappy dress shoes.

Anyway, crisis averted until my mom starts telling me cake cutting war stories from weddings past.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Misc Karen Goes to the Movies

I am cheap. This is no secret amongst those of my acquaintance. Those who know more would probably consider me more frugal, a trait born from the occasional necessity or observation of other's necessity. Those who don't know me as while would probably say that I'm just a tightwad.

One of the eventualities of my frugality is that I don't go to the movies that often. Usually, it's only if I'm convinced it's a movie whose cinematography requires a big screen. Tonight, the b/f and I went to see a movie we had both, for different reasons, been anticipating, V for Vendetta. He likes action films and comic books. I'm for politics.

I loved this movie. How much did I love this movie? I plan to go see it again this weekend. I have made it clear to the b/f that I will own this movie. I am currently using his ebay account to buy a set of the original comics because I would really like to read them now. I think he is completely stunned that I want to not only read a comic book and own it, but the 9 others that complete its run.

Why do I love this movie? This is one of those times I wish I knew more about moviemaking because I feel at a loss to explain why I like it so much. The story was interesting and well paced. The acting was amazing. I really want to know if they used different variations of the mask worn by the character V because I swear he had expressions. Hugo Weaving was that good. Natalie Portman matched him. The truth is that I want to watch it a second time to study it and take in things that I missed on a conscious level the first time.

Just remember, you know it's a good movie when a cheapskate wants to see it more than once in a theater.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Hormones Suck

It's the only reason that I am getting all emotional about a summer vacation. Okay, maybe there's more to it than that.

The b/f and I have tentative plans to visit ND in either the summer or fall. He had even suggested that I could replace my class ring, which was lost in "the fire." I actually hopped onto the school website, and I became seriously choked up. I haven't been there since the day I graduated, and I cried when I left campus with my family.

The b/f is not versed in my ND history. He knows some of the names of my good friends, but he has no idea what my time there meant to me. He's excited at the thought of football. Those who know me know that football had nothing to do with my decision. He knows nothing of the beauty or history of campus. He can't imagine how hard most students there study on a regular basis. For him, it's "Touchdown Jesus" and now a piece of artwork that connects thousands of years of the pursuit of learning. The grotto would be lost to him. He is looking forward to walking around the lakes and feeding ducks.

I can close my eyes and I am walking around campus at night, on a study break. It just makes me that much more sad to think of all the photos I lost in the fire. I can take more, but they won't be the same. My friends won't be there, and I won't have anything to remind of whom I was back then.

Okay, I've got to grab some tissue and stop this.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

And My B/F Wondered Why I Wanted a Shredder


This is the scariest thing that I've seen all day.
Tell friends and family. Maybe if word spreads far enough, the credit card companies will be embarrassed into doing the correct thing. Oh, who am I kidding?

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

I Feel Pretty

I've gotten to the point where I am wearing makeup again. I don't know if it's a phase or just that I'm now 30 and my skin needs all the help it can get.

One sign that I'm definitely turning girly, I'm a HUGE Project Runway fan. That's right. I uncloseted myself as a reality tv, make that reality fashion tv, fan. Please, please, Daniel V. Please do not let your collection suck because some will be wrong in the world if Santino wins.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Friends

I'm spending another Saturday night at home, when I know for a fact a bunch of co-workers are meeting up at a bar. It's not that I'm not invited (I was), I'm just really shy in social situations. It has gotten me to thinking how I haven't really made any new friends in roughly 5 years.

The most obvious reason is that I've lived in 7 cities in the past 10 years.

Growing up I was a nerd. I didn't relate well to my classmates and was painfully shy. I actually got along better with adults. Needless to say, this didn't do a lot for my social skills. It wasn't until my sophomore year of college that I developed my first quality friendships, ones that I still try to maintain. Since then, I've only made a few more close friends.

It's been 2 years since I lived in the same town as a good friend. It's tough when the friends you care for most live (with the exception of one) in different states. Thank goodness for unlimited long distance. The majority of them I haven't seen in over 5 years. I've been dating the b/f for over 3 years and he hasn't met my closest friends, and I feel he's missing a huge part of me for it.

It does leave me wondering, will I ever live somewhere long enough to grow roots and build new friendships where I live? I know people make friends and develop community online, but I miss sharing meals, drinks, laughter, tears, etc.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Name That Computer

In honor of the changes being made over at BlogExplosion, I'm holding my own little contest.

In the past, I've gone through a few computers. There was Bertie, the slow little Frankenstein of a computer that a friend piecemealed together for me. There was Jeeves who I lost in the fire. On Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving,) I brought the newest and best computer yet, into my life. It's a great HP desktop, heavy on media utilities (it has card readers for everything and enough USB port to make a regular comp blush.) Nice, svelte flat panel monitor, stand metallic hue. What it does not have, is a name.

This is where you come in. Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to name my computer. For the name I like best, the winner will receive 50 BlogExplosion credits (so make sure you provide your BE login, correctly please) and the satisfaction that with a name, my computer and I will finally be able to bond. Hopefully, I'll be able to name a winner on Sunday. Good luck.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Timing

I was reading my Tao meditation book earlier this evening, and today's meditation focused on the word "optimism." It immediately brought to mind the good news secret from earlier, the one I'm trying to not get my hopes up over. It just fit so perfectly.

That's been happening a lot with these meditations. And it's kind of weird, in a good way.

I don't want to suggest that it's God trying to send me sign. I would imagine that some people would chalk it up to foolish superstitious. I just love how the timing leads me to focus on things in my life that need attention. I don't even know if I would attribute to anything spiritual. I just take the time to reflect on my life and my self, something I haven't seriously done in a while.

It centers and calms me in ways I still have to master.

But I really like trying.

The Secret

For once, as of late, I've got good news. But I can't tell you. It's a secret. Damn, I suck at secrets. Good thing like 2 people read this blog, and they already know the secret. Here's hoping I'll soon be sharing even better news with you.