Valentine's Day, Part 2, Skunk Love Smells Bad

This one goes out to all the Valentine grinches who are suffering today.

My adventures in skunk love date back to my days in Kentucky. It all started one June morning when I noted the faint but distinct smell of skunk in the entryway of the house where I was living. I asked a housemate if she noticed the smell, but no, I was the only one who had apparently acquired my mother's sense of smell for all things bad. I complained to other housemates to no avail. I was the only one who noticed, so I bit my tongue and waited. After a few weeks, the smell subsided.

The following fall, I was not the only one to notice the smell of skunk. This time it was much more pronounced and extended beyond the entryway. We knew that there had to be skunks getting into the house and investigated. Sure enough, one of my housemates discovered a hole on the northside that was serving as a point of entry to the subfloor. We took our findings to the property maintenance where nothing was done. This time it took a month for the smell to go away. I didn't mind so much because at least this time I wasn't the only one suffering. Misery does indeed love company.

All was well until one February night when our house began to fill with the smell of skunk. The next day we put in another request with maintenance. That night, between 11 and 11:30, we noticed the renewed smell of skunk. We had company. We also had clothes that began to smell of skunk. Migraines were becoming the all the rage too. It was then that we learned that February is mating season for skunks in Kentucky. Apparently, Valentine's Day isn't just for lovebirds anymore.

Apparently, the winter hibernation was over. Skunks are nocturnal. Skunks spray when they are amorous. Skunks get in the mood somewhere around 11:15 P.M.

We were rapidly become miserable, but help was on the way. Maintenance came to our aid. The first goal was to make sure all the skunks were out of the house. A trap was set up to catch them going either in or out of our house. Animal lovers should skip the last paragraph. The trap was designed to kill because maintenance recognized we had suffered long enough.

There was one small problem. The trap didn't so much kill the skunks. Oh, it would trap a skunk, a soon extremely pissed-off and scared skunk. A skunk that was alive to spray all night long. If skunk love smell bad, skunk scorned is infinitely worse. The smell that awaited us in the morning made the thought of turning our home to a skunk brothel pleasant in comparison. We felt bad for the maintenance guy who came to check to the trap and discovered a very much alive skunk. He decided it was better to carry a big stick, specifically a very long tree branch.

After three nights of angry skunks, the ordeal was over. Our house was declared skunk-free. The hole was closed. The smell of skunk slowly faded. However, every February I am reminded how I learned the hard way that skunk love smells bad.