It Was the Summer of '84

I remember the day clearly. It was a hot, dry day, not unlike those we've been experiencing lately. I had been eagerly waiting for this day, and it had finally arrived. I was nervous, but I was ready. I walked in with my mom. It was the beauty salon where our neighbor worked, and with minimal tears and not minimal pain, I had my ears pierced.

A few short hours, I was invited to the city pool. My new ear bling forced me to decline the offer, and I wasn't much interested in having my ears pierced anymore. In fact, the last time that I wore earrings was for a dorm formal back in college, ... "a few" years ago. I basically had to reopen a part of the piercing to get the earrings in. Needless to say, my piercings closed years ago.

I had my ears repierced tonight. I am a vain, vain woman. I want to wear cute earrings for my wedding, and I knew clip-ons wouldn't cut it.

Since I don't have a regular salon and I'm lazy, I got it done at the mall. I swear that I was old enough to be the mother of every girl in the store, including the employees. My fiance in tow, I went up to the counter and said that I wanted my ears pierced. I think my vocabulary may have been a bit advanced because I swear that I heard crickets chirping in the silence.

The assistant manager to me over to look at studs and then went to get someone else to do because she hadn't been trained.

"Oh my God."

I kid you not. These were my exact thoughts.

Another girl comes over to help, and I am relieved that she looks like a high school graduate and the oldest employee in the store. After some general confusion about what they had in stock, I make my selection and start signing on enough lines that I thought I might have a house in escrow.

I loved filling in my age and date of birth. It led to the following discussion...

Misc Karen: "Ha. My age. I'm probably twice the age of your average customer."

Teenage Piercer: "You're probably twice my age."

(Yes, she did actually say this. Completely deadpan.)

MK: "How old are you?"

TP: "16."

MK: "I'm not quite there yet."

TP: "Oh, really? I was just joking."

MK: "No, I'll be twice your age in November."

That is when the crickets started chirping again.

She eventually dots my ears with a purple pen on my old holes so that I can greenlight the location. These dots were the size of large acne. She could have put them in about three different spots in the mark. I okayed it, trusting she couldn't mess up putting them in the old spots.

I got home, looked in the mirror, and noticed that the one in the left ear is higher than the one on the right. I'm hoping that once they heal it won't be as noticeable, and if worse comes to worse, I'll let them close up after the wedding.